Monday, April 30, 2012

Kalevet (Rabies)


(THERE WILL BE SPOILERS!)
I just finished watching this film.  I wasn't in a hurry to see this one because its trailer doesn't really present it as anything special.  I figured it was about a group of young people who take a road trip, get stuck in the woods, run into a dog with rabies, someone gets bitten, and eventually everyone dies in horrible, somewhat creative ways.

It turns out the movie is about a group of young people who take a road trip and get stuck in the woods, and people do die horribly, but instead of rabies, we get just another serial killer in coveralls.  Ten minutes into the film I was hoping I wasn't wasting an hour and a half of my time.  I get about three hours every night after my kids go to bed to enjoy myself and relax before I too have to hit the hay.  That's not a lot of time to read comics, listen to records, and watch movies, so I have to be choosy.  If I forgo the comic reading to watch a movie, then it'd better damn well change my life, or at least entertain me.  Sorry, I digress.

After the introduction of some characters and some clever banter between the group of teenagers, we get to meet our killer struggling with his first victim.  At this time, my girlfriend gets up and says, "I don't like these kind of movies," gives me a kiss, and goes to bed.  Already sure of myself as to what I'm in for, I consider taking out the DVD.  But just then a dog shows up--one that the viewer has already met, which I presumed to be the rabies carrier--causing a distraction for the victim to get away.  And this is the crazy part: the dog ends up being the killer's only victim.  After this scene, the killer is pretty much taken out of the movie, which leaves several well developed characters to kill off each other, accidentally or otherwise.  I warned you of spoilers, but I'm really not giving away too much.  One set of events sets off another, bringing more characters into the scenario, each with his or her own issues and personal problems, and that's where the real horror lies.

Ruminating now I'm reminded of that movie Crash (2004), where all the characters' lives are intertwined and affected by each other's attitudes and actions, except Rabies is no Hollywood drama.  This beast is a horror movie and it was filmed in Israel.  If this is how directors in Israel make their slasher films, then keep 'em coming.

Anyway, I'm out of time.  If I'm going to get up in the morning with the little ones I've got to turn in.  Check out Rabies, written and directed by Aharon Keshales and Navot Papushado.  You'll be pleasantly surprised and glad you did...unless you're stupid.


Friday, April 13, 2012

Harley Poe: Satan, Sex and No Regrets


…So I freaked out.


I was ready to go record a new album, but it was going to be a long time until the band would be able to get the new songs down.  It was hard enough getting together for practice, let alone booking studio time.  Plus, I started this band as an acoustic project, and though Wretched. Filthy. Ugly. Is one of my favorite albums, we had definitely strayed from my original vision and I wasn’t content with the sound anymore.
Wes had recently joined the band, Travis had joined and quit, and Kevin wasn’t able to dedicate enough time for the amount of practice we were trying to fit in.  Members kept changing and the acoustic sound was getting lost.  Over the years, I had allowed a cocktail kit, keyboards, and electric guitar to jump into the mix, but now I was ready for some quietness. 
I wanted to emphasize the lyrics and slow things down a bit.  I wanted to go solo.  I booked some studio time without talking to the band, and I gathered some of my favorite songs to play by myself along with some new ones I had planned to use for our next “punk” album.  I wasn’t sure what was going to happen with us since I knew Cris liked to play the kit, Wes liked electric guitar, and Gregg was comfortable on the keys, but I was so tired of how loud everything had gotten and I missed that acoustic sound.
On December 16th, 2011, I met Anthony Fanger at his apartment in Fort Wayne.  We listened to music, watched movies, got fucked up, and stayed up most of the night.  After a few hours of sleep, we got up, got breakfast, and met Geoff Montgomery at his studio.  I spent most of the 17th laying down eleven songs for Harley Poe’s new album Satan, Sex and No Regrets.  Geoff recorded my vocals and guitar simultaneously without a metronome.  If I fucked up a song, we’d just start over.  Toward the end I lost my voice and settled for some imperfections, but was ultimately very satisfied with what was happening.  I called Gregg after a bit to come over and throw down some upright and things were beginning to come together.


After Christmas, the rest of the band joined in and we spent a day adding the guitjo and upright bass, a day doing some backups and brushes, and a final day mixing.  We recorded an album over a couple Saturdays on a whim, and I think it’s our best work.  There was a moment that I almost left the band out, which would have been a huge mistake, but good thing for me I was forced to my senses and realized Harley Poe doesn’t function correctly without those assholes.  We all channel the same Spirit.  The members that make up Harley Poe are a body.  We live by the flesh, we are controlled by our sexual nature, and we regret nothing.
      
http://www.chainsmokingrecords.com/store/item/CSR018/
So here are the lyrics to the new album.  No more guessing and no more emails, please.


STILL HERE.  This song is Harley Poe’s first real love song.  It’s dedicated to the girl of my dreams; the girl I’ve shared my life with for the last seventeen or so years.  When things turn to shit, the end will come quickly, and it will be short and sweet just like this song.

Plants are brown sky is red everyone we know is dead
And I’m happy for them ‘cause we’re still here
You’re still alive and so am I the world belongs to us now
Except for those who’ve lost their minds they’re still out there
But so what? I haven’t seen them in awhile
Don’t lose hope just give me one more smile
‘Cause I’m still here
So now will you do shrooms with me? no one here to judge you as far as I can see
And the government can’t do shit about it
Pick your favorite car we’ll take the keys and drive it far
And then make love in the back seat while we’re still lit
It’ll be fun you know we’ll have a good time
Until the Earth chooses not to provide
We make such a lovely pair with our middle fingers in the air

EVERYBODY KNOWS MY NAME.  I’ve already explained this song in the Wretched. Filthy. Ugly. post a year or two back.

I’m the one I am ignored when your teenagers are bored
Foolishness will hand their careless lives to me
They don’t fear what they don’t know
Through their ignorance I glow
As they flicker from this dream I’ll set them free
Through cancer and disease I’ll take with me whom I please
No need to run you can fight and face defeat
Through religion and deceit and science and conceit
Try to stop me but in the end I can’t be beat
I’ll be at it once again you’ll all face me in the end
It should be fun as I swat you down like flies
So when it’s time for you to go don’t you cry ‘cause don’t you know
It’s appointed once for every man to die
But what happens when you’re dead ain’t my problem but I’ve read
You’ll burn in Hell for all eternity
Life wasn’t all that great but please make no mistake
It gets much worse after you’ve met me
I’m the reason your sick ones pray to God as they lie there still
I’m the reason they cry out because I kill through different sources I may use
And everybody knows my name everybody knows my name
Everybody plays my game and everybody knows my name
As I close my eyes to die I will not fear I will not cry
As I travel down this road I gave my all I took my load
As I lay my head to rest God you know I did my best
Was it you or I who turned? Whose fault is it that I must burn?

IMA KILLER.  This song was originally written for Joshua Hull’s new film Idiot Gore, but the production has been delayed.  The song is about two people that might have once loved each other, but as time goes by, people change, motives are revealed, new truths are realized.  People can be so deceitful, and sometimes the ones closest to you can be complete strangers.

Olive green was the color of her pretty eyes
Soft and warm was the feeling in between her thighs
69 is the number that we used in bed
I forget how many times that you fucked with my head
God damn I don’t think I’ll ever understand
God damn could I ever really be your man?
I know I never want to be alone
How’d I ever think that I could call you my own
I used to think I really knew you well
Who’d-have-thought you’d go astray? Oh baby
After years and years of following
Who’d-have-thought that we’d end this way?
And I’m a killer everything’s gonna be alright
I’m a killer everything’s gonna be alright
I’m gonna kill her if I see her at that party tonight
‘cause I’m a killer everything’s gonna be alright
94 was the year that you said I do
95 was the year that you said we’re through
96 tears is what I cry cry cry
But I’ll never ever know why you lie lie lie
I don’t know what my spirit needs
But right now I want to watch you bleed
We both know that you’re no good for me
Que sera sera whatever will be will be
Used to think you really knew me well
Who’d-have-thought I’d go astray
After years and years of following
Somehow I knew that we’d end this way
I love you I need you I want you I cut you up
Please help me I can’t see but our Father has shown me
Without you I can’t feel I’m useless but you’re not real
‘Cause you’re not mine and I’m a killer

FATHER McKEE.  You can thank Cris for this one.  He came up with the title and the first line back when we were on tour in New York, and I just went with it.  I don’t like religion. I don’t care for people who follow it blindly.  I hate hypocrites.  I hope this song upsets people.  It’s supposed to.

Father McKee touched me in more ways than one
I learned of sexuality through God’s chosen son
I sang for him and I prayed with him and I did it on my knees
Father McKee taught me how to say please
Amazing grace how sweet the sound
He used to make me sing that tune as he was going down
I’d meet him in confession and we’d drink up all the wine
Me and father McKee we had a good time
Father McKee said that we were free
He keeps me safe from the enemy
Father McKee laid his hands on me
He helped me to see the Devil lives inside of me
Father McKee doesn’t love me as much as I hate him
I found out just the other day that he’s been touching Tim
An orphan and a choir boy he’s got one up on me
As I lay them down I pray God forgive thee
Father McKee I know not what I do
But it was you who made those videos
Atheists and pagans hear my plea
I’ll be set free to manifest the beast in me


TRANSVESTITES CAN BE CANNIBALS TOO.  This song first appeared on Harley Poe’s debut album “In the Dark.”  It’s one of my favorites, so I’ve included a stripped down version on the new record.  Besides, our first album is out of print.  I consider myself different from most people.  It’s hard to find others that share in my enthusiasm for the garbage in which I revel.   It’s not a big surprise that I get made fun of a lot by others.  But I like being different, I like walking alone, and I like feasting on the sheep who’d feel much safer if I were just like them.
Original illustration from In the Dark by Joe Whiteford

I hate the way that I look in my own clothes
So I wear my wife’s when I go to the town
You think it’s gross when I’m wearing her pantyhose
You call me sick and you call me a clown
I think I may I think I might have human tonight
Don’t come to me ‘cause I’m coming to you
I think I may I think I might have you for a bite
I’m gonna cook me up some he-man stew
‘Cause transvestites can be cannibals too
And I’ll feel better after I eat you
‘Cause I hate people when they’re not polite
If you end up on my table then it serves you right
And when I was young I wore my sister’s clothes
I liked to paint my nails and I had secrets no one knows
But now that I’m grown up I cook dinner for my wife
I still carry my secrets along with a butcher’s knife
I hate the popular people ‘cause I ain’t popular
I’ll eat these words tomorrow ‘cause I’m bipolar
It’s okay to be different unless you’re all by yourself
You think you’re so fucking special but you’re just like everyone else
I just don’t understand the reason why I sin
Why can’t I be a bigger man and walk away when
You tear me down and make me feel like I’m worth nothing?
But then again I’m sure that you deserve what you’ll be getting
So you don’t like being tied up well I don’t like being me
You’re so shallow-minded you think I’m only what you see
Take me out of the herd and put me on display in front of your friends
Not knowing that this mistake could lead to your miserable end
‘Cause I’m rude I’m ugly I’m everything you hate
And I’m here tonight to put you on my plate
I don’t care for your opinion I don’t want your point of view
Tonight I’ll have a feast with compliments to you

 THE HEARSE SONG.  This isn’t my song and there are many different versions and lyrics to it.  It is also called “Worms” and it’s an old Halloween song that I heard as a kid.  My version is just a combination of some of the different lyrics I’ve found for it over the internet and in books.  Look it up.
       
      TAXIDERMY GIRL.  Someone once said to me, “For a guy who’s only been in one serious relationship, you sure write a lot of songs about heartache and breakin’ up.” Well this is another one of those songs.  The relationship I share with my wife is pure bliss, so it’s easy for me to imagine how shitty life would be without her.  It would be such a shock to ever find out that it’s all just a lie.  If I lost her to someone else I don’t think anyone in this world would be able to fill the void.

You were young you were bright you were a star in the night you were gorgeous
How it turned me on as you danced on our lawn in your wedding dress
Then one day out of the blue you said baby we’re through I don’t love you
You said I found someone new who does all of those things you can’t do
Well you left with your things in his car you went far but I found you
 I burst through the door as you were playing his whore oh how could you?
And I held up my knife and screamed you stole my wife now you’ll pay
You cried as I slashed him and I yelled shut up and hear what I say
This is what I said: you are my wife and I am your husband
God brought us together but I’m fixing to take you apart
I’ll pack you with sawdust and dress you up in pretty things
Without you as my wife I’ve no reason for life but I’ve still got my art
I’ve got my art
I tied you to a chair ‘cause life just ain't fair but what can you do
You broke my heart so I’ll tear him apart and soon I’ll kill you too
Unless you repent of your sin and come back home to your husband where you belong
I’m gonna tear out your eyes and your insides as I sing this song

 THAT TIME OF THE MONTH.  These lyrics are also explained in an earlier post.

The moon tonight it shines so bright reflects off your teeth as you snarl and bite
Your breasts grow hair you know I don’t care you’re still my gal but I would not dare
Upset you now there’s sweat on my brow I swallow my pride as you start to growl
That time again because of your sin you’re on the rag and the killings begin
Up and down the streets of town I look for a wolf but she can’t be found
Oh girl is it wrong when you’re in that thong
When I know that you won’t be a girl for long
You slut you tease you dancing sleaze I’m on my knees and I’m begging you please
Come home before you change for the worse
It runs in your family girl you got the curse
You’re emotional to say the least but you make a lovely beast
It’s not your fault that you’re a bitch not like a vampire or a witch
You’re on all fours it turns me on but I think that I should run
You’re ravenous it’s your time of the month
Sometimes I wish that you were dead
Despite the way you move and how you play with my head
And God has left you empty and the mark is on your hand
A silver bullet in your heart I hope you understand
There’s blood all over your face and there’s hair all over the place
And there’s hair all over your face and there’s blood all over the place

I AM THE LIVING DEAD.  This song was written for the soundtrack of a zombie film supposedly being shot here in Kokomo.  It’s simply about living in this city, growing up, and doing your best not to become like the other sad souls that are trapped here.  Many people think this town is a dead end, so they leave just to find another dead end in a bigger city.  But it’s not Kokomo that is dead—it’s the people that choose to stop living.  If more people with ambition and a sense of adventure would stick around long enough to make things exciting, then this town wouldn’t seem so sad.  Instead it’s left here with those who are brain dead and would rather exist only to consume.  But one doesn’t need to live in Kokomo to become the living dead.  I do my best to stay alive no matter what city I’m in.

Wake up look around everybody’s dead living in this town
But we’re bright and young and we don’t care
‘Cause we know that we’re gonna get out of here
It’s their fate their luck it’s where they belong
They drag themselves around with the same old song
Who’d-have-thought they’d get a bite out of me
Fuckin’ up the cards and my destiny
I always thought I was different from the bunch
Now all I can think about is eating you for lunch
I am the living dead a single thought floating in my head
I got a hunger growing deep inside it’s alive it’s alive
Now I know it could be worse but is a zomibied humanity really a curse?
No fear I’m already dead never have to worry about who’s in my bed
Or friends a job it’s all obsolete the only thing that matters is what I will eat
Blood brains the Holy Grail I got my eye and it’s focused and I’m not gonna fail
I always thought I was special but I’m not
I’m nothing but another piece of meat making up the lot
There was a time I was alive but now gone are the good old days
I had my dreams but so it seems that living was just a faze

VAMPIRE’S NIGHT OUT.  There are a lot of users in this world, but that’s okay, because some people really like being used.  Sometimes I think we’re each destined to be one or the other.
Original illustration from In the Dark by Joe Whiteford

Went to a bar I saw you sitting there pretty as sin and your skin so dang fair
You offered me a drink I said “no, but that’s sweet”
You didn’t have a clue I saw you as meat
Talked for awhile you started to smoke a cigarette
You said you wanted to party I said “I bet”
College girl like you with nothing to do
Let’s go back to my place and I’ll show you a thing or two
Went back to my apartment started to mess around
But when I showed her my fangs she showed me a frown
I said I don’t want you I want your blood
Nothing personal but you got to do what you got to do
To make it in a world that doesn’t even care about you
You were in the wrong bar during the wrong night
These are the cards you were dealt so why fight?
I wish it could be a better way but we really weren’t given the choice
You see I’m at the top of the food chain baby and in my world you don’t have a voice
I shouldn’t complain you shouldn’t complain
In a world where death is so much gain

OUIJA. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I’d made different choices; taken a different road.  Though I treasure the life I’ve been given, what if…?  Life is all about making choices and then living with those decisions.  I do my best to accept the consequences of my actions while I’m alive, but who knows—there might be hell to pay when I die.

Gonna play a show at a house tonight
Gonna turn up the tunes gonna turn down the lights
Kids lookin’ ripe and lookin’ good
Who’s to say I wouldn’t only if I could?
I feel I missed my road when I said no
But you can’t have it all that’s how things go
So I’ll just play my guitar and when I’m through
I’ll sit all by myself thinking of you
After awhile getting high in the bathroom gets old
Drinking too much well it’s making my face look oh so old
Now let’s do something different now that we’re all here
Nothing wrong with dancing and drinking beer
But I’m without my Lord so I brought my board
Place your hands on the Ouija in one accord
Friend are you near? Friend can you hear?
Enter our lives you have nothing to fear
How did you die? Possess me and cry
Do as you will but don’t you lie
Can’t you see can’t you see can’t you see I’m in pain?
Give me some truth to the other side
At least tell me your name
Do what you want
If you were evil then do evil (then I’ll do evil)
If you were good did you regret it?
Were you successful? Were you clever?
When you wanted it did you get it?
Well here’s your chance do it again
Do it through me but it’s still your sin
I want to taste it no consequences
We’ll give each other our second chances
Who’s to say I won’t ‘cause I know I could?

Monday, April 9, 2012

Critters

Last night was double feature deliciousness here at the Whiteford Home after the family went to bed.  Taking back a couple shots of vodka with a handful of pistachios (and a few chocolate eggs from my boys' Easter baskets) while enjoying Critters (1986) and Critters 2 (1988) was the perfect end to Easter Sunday. 
They really don't make movies like this anymore.  I was like seven years old when Critters was released in theaters, but it wasn't until I was eight or nine that I was able to catch it on cable or video rental.  My mom had made an illegal VHS tape for us kids, and I watched it until I had it memorized.  If you're a fan of 80's monster movies with little puppet creatures running amok, causing destruction and eating townsfolk, then you've no doubt seen these classics.  But for everyone else, here's a quick synopsis of the two films:
Little porcupine creatures with lots of sharp teeth and insatiable appetites escape from an outer space prison and land on Earth.  Alien shape-shifting bounty hunters with green glowing heads and trigger fingers are sent out to destroy them. The critters eat cows, a couple people, and some chickens, then terrorize a family on a farm.  The bounty hunters imitate the town's inhabitants while shooting up the local church and bowling alley until they are led to the farmhouse where the family is under siege.  Lots of explosions and critter death ensue.
Part 2 takes place on Easter and has characters returning from the original film to fight the critters once again as they display mandatory raucous behavior and shed even more blood this time around.  As with most monster movie sequels from the 80s especially, this one has a bit more humor thrown in with the mayhem.

My little description in no way gives the films justice, so see them for yourself .  There is much more substance to these movies than I have led on.  The actors bring good performances (you can't ever go wrong with Dee Wallace Stone) and the effects, puppetry, and make-up are fabulous.  The films are followed by two other equally entertaining sequels, one featuring an early performance by Leonardo DiCaprio, and the other stars Brad Dourif. Brad Dourif kicks my ass. Now check out this awesome art by one of my old band mates Aaron Richardson, then watch the trailer for the original film.  Thanks!

Artwork by Aaron Richardson
aaronrichardsondesign.com